I am trying to write a post on my incessant need to please everyone.
The problem is I can’t seem to write anything down, for fear of offending someone. I’ve written something, then erased it. I’ve sat here looking at the screen for what seems like forever, pondering just the right way to share what I’m feeling. To be honest, though, I’m completely petrified to write on this subject.
Do you hear the irony in this?
I want to write on my weakness in always having to please people, but can’t write anything down, because I’m scared this post won’t please everyone. ARRGGG!
I’ve always had this issue. From as far back as I can remember. As a child I was always aware of what others thought of me (or at least my perception of what they thought of me.)
I wanted (and still want to some degree) everyone to be happy with the decisions I make, and to ultimately like me.
I’m super insecure in this area. If I think someone doesn’t like what I’ve done or who I am, my initial reaction is to want to change. Whether it’s what I’ve done or who I am, I immediately want to CHANGE!!
You see, I have this unhealthy need to be accepted by everyone. Now, thankfully, I am realizing that this won’t ever happen. I fully believe that God will use people around you to bring about his perfect will for your life.
I believe that his perfect will for my life is to find my acceptance in Him and in Him alone!
I’ve found myself in many situations lately where I’ve needed to make a conscious effort to put aside my fears of not being perfect in everyones eyes and instead just be myself.
I’m learning that it is impossible to have everyone like me. It is unreasonable to try and make everyone happy. Someone will always disagree with something I say or do, and I think that I’m learning that there is beauty in that. We all have own own way of doing things and it’s our differences that will be used to strengthen and build up our character.
Is this ok?
Is it ok to come clean and say- I’m just trying to be me. The real me. The me that you might not agree with or even care to be around.
I’m learning to be ok with that…..slowly but surely I will learn to be confident in who I am.
I love Jesus, my guy Chris + our four. We seek joy. Homeschool. Adventure together. Mess up and start again.
Well, first of all I think it is wonderful that you recognize a weakness in yourself and you are working to improve. Good for you and yes it is ok!
But I did notice a flaw in your thinking…You do not have to find your acceptance in Him, He already accepts you for who you are, flaws and all!! He loves you no matter what you do.
Rather than trying to please everyone, work towards putting your focus on pleasing Him. Do this because He loves you and ultimately that is all that really matters isn’t it!
Thanks so much Carrie!
I totally appreciate your kind words 🙂
I’m sorry I wasn’t totally clear in what I wrote. I didn’t mean that I need to ‘work’ to find his acceptance.
I am so thankful that he fully accepts me, I sometimes just look to others rather than to the true source of acceptance!
I just need to always remember that I need to look to him, rather than people.
Thanks so much for the encouragement!
🙂
You might like to read the book Pleasers by Kevin Leman. I like his books because they’re very common sense :-). Thanks for being so transparent. I think you’re wonderful :-). xoxo
Well, first of all I think it is wonderful that you recognize a weakness in yourself and you are working to improve. Good for you and yes it is ok!
But I did notice a flaw in your thinking…You do not have to find your acceptance in Him, He already accepts you for who you are, flaws and all!! He loves you no matter what you do.
Rather than trying to please everyone, work towards putting your focus on pleasing Him. Do this because He loves you and ultimately that is all that really matters isn't it!